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Finished: 10 PM Mon 06 Sep 21 UTC
Private ✨let's try not to die this time, shall we?✨
5 days /phase
Pot: 35 D - Spring, 1906, Finished
Classic, Draw-Size Scoring
4 excused missed turn
Game drawn
18 Jun 21 UTC Spring, 1901: now, would anyone be interested in reading diplomacy erotica
18 Jun 21 UTC Spring, 1901: Are y'all okay
18 Jun 21 UTC Spring, 1901: I looked up diplomacy on r34 and there was actually one result
18 Jun 21 UTC Spring, 1901: just thought i'd let you know that, if you were interested
18 Jun 21 UTC Spring, 1901: It took me twelve years to learn this lesson. Since then I have been teaching it to newcomers to Diplomacy and experienced players alike. It has brought me many letters of thanks - letters which have told me that the writer’s whole conception of the game has been changed - letters from men who have been playing for many years, who have written to say that they never before realized that what they were doing wrong. Yet when I explain it to some young man who wants to become a force to be reckoned with, I can sense his surprise as he says, "Oh come on, that doesn’t really work. Haven’t you got a simple formula for wining more games? That’s something I really need."

I have read many articles on strategy and listened to many "old-hands" talking about the Lepanto or the Hedgehog, Juggernauts, Steamrollers and such like. However, when it comes down to brass tacks, the only really effective way to win is to have at least one good alliance. In a seriously competitive game it is the opponent who knows the one RIGHT way to persuade players to ally with him who will win through every time. The answer? THREATEN YOUR OPPONENTS WITH PHYSICAL VIOLENCE.

The majority of players are too conscious of being hurt in this situation. They approach their opponents in a namby-pamby, toady way, try to sweet talk an alliance and then get shit on. It may take you two, three, four, five or six games to master the art properly, but you can do it. And when you do it, it will increase your wins.

Now, here is the secret. You can only make a threat like this in a conversational manner and you must learn the art of relaxation. You need to learn to relax, because unless you are completely relaxed you will not be able to persuade the other players that you are serious. Just think about it for a minute or two. It seems easy doesn’t it?

RELAX.

When you are completely relaxed you don’t feel nervous, you don’t feel tense. Another important point - your voice normally drops a tone or so. It sounds more sinister. relax right now. Go on, this very second! Put down this zine and relax. You may be sitting with your legs crossed, but you can’t relax like that. Sit in the lotus position on the floor and let your mind go blank. repeat these words:

"I feel no pain, I fear no man, I can win more Diplomacy games."

Remember that by learning this you will enjoy good health and achieve a stronger personality. but that is not the main idea behind it. The main aim is to enable you to find allies.

The Conversational Technique

I was playing France. The wimp playing England had just finished talking to Germany in the corner. I approached him and pushed him against the wall. I gave him my best psychopathic smile and made my eyes into two slits. "hello England. Do you see this?" (At this point I open my flick-knife or cut-throat razor.) "I’m going to slice you into fucking pieces if you don’t do as I say." I then tell him what I want and finish with, "And if you say one word to the other players, or anyone else, I’ll fucking get you after this game’s finished." So the sucker falls for it. Or does he? If he looks as though he may scream, calm him down and say it’s a joke - your weird sense of humour. Then, when he’s calm, say, "Don’t fucking try anything this time. I really mean it." and again produce your weapon. Simple? Yes. But so many people will not try it. Lack of confidence can be overcome with relaxation. so relax. Talk to the guy.

The Implication Approach

This works well with players who know your reputation. You will have a reputation after you’ve threatened one or two people. Take out your knife and pretend to pick your teeth. Spin your gun on your finger like a cowboy. Smack your clenched fist into your open hand. Do any of these while smiling at your potential victim. He’ll soon come round.

Well, that’s it. Don’t expect it to work every time. Some people are awkward and won’t be threatened, but you’ll always find at least one ally if you use this method. Don’t mind the beatings you’ll receive or the times when you’re thrown out of games-meets or cons, just keep up the good work and... relax.

Remember: "I feel no pain, I fear no man, I can win more Diplomacy games."

Relax.
18 Jun 21 UTC Spring, 1901: ._ . zzz
19 Jun 21 UTC Spring, 1901: ready up hoesssssssssss
19 Jun 21 UTC Spring, 1901: :whenshedoesntstop:
20 Jun 21 UTC Autumn, 1901: I would like to openly thank england for their willingness to support me into norway this turn
25 Jun 21 UTC Autumn, 1901: :maxweird:
25 Jun 21 UTC Autumn, 1901: ready up you cowards
02 Jul 21 UTC Spring, 1902: if anyone has any suggestionson what you think i should do, i'd happily take them
03 Jul 21 UTC Spring, 1902: no one? am i just holding all then?
04 Jul 21 UTC Spring, 1902: GameMaster: Game was extended due to at least 1 member failing to enter orders and having an excused missed turn available. This has un-readied all orders.
05 Jul 21 UTC Spring, 1902: GameMaster: Game was extended due to at least 1 member failing to enter orders and having an excused missed turn available. This has un-readied all orders.
06 Jul 21 UTC Spring, 1902: why would you go into ska instead of hel what the hel
21 Jul 21 UTC Spring, 1903: GameMaster: Game was extended due to at least 1 member failing to enter orders and having an excused missed turn available. This has un-readied all orders.
22 Jul 21 UTC Spring, 1903: votedraw
22 Jul 21 UTC Spring, 1903: GameMaster: Game was extended due to at least 1 member failing to enter orders and having an excused missed turn available. This has un-readied all orders.
23 Jul 21 UTC Spring, 1903: GameMaster: Game was extended due to at least 1 member failing to enter orders and having an excused missed turn available. This has un-readied all orders.
23 Jul 21 UTC Spring, 1903: okay here's the strat, when umar/max cd, it'll be 3 players left with a worth of 12, and if we draw, then 6 people will get 12 coins(?!?) for a totalof 72 coins in a 35 bet game??
24 Jul 21 UTC Spring, 1903: GameMaster: Game was extended due to at least 1 member failing to enter orders and having an excused missed turn available. This has un-readied all orders.
24 Jul 21 UTC Spring, 1903: <_<
30 Jul 21 UTC Autumn, 1903: GameMaster: Game was extended due to at least 1 member failing to enter orders and having an excused missed turn available. This has un-readied all orders.
30 Jul 21 UTC Autumn, 1903: https://youtu.be/wLItgSOZNnk
30 Jul 21 UTC Autumn, 1903: v o t e d r a w?
01 Aug 21 UTC Autumn, 1903: why are france/germany still fighting each other
03 Aug 21 UTC Autumn, 1903: I'm not fighting anyone
03 Aug 21 UTC Autumn, 1903: France is fighting me
03 Aug 21 UTC Autumn, 1903: ...
03 Aug 21 UTC Autumn, 1903: also it's comms, that north sea bounce should not have happened
03 Aug 21 UTC Autumn, 1903: i give up
03 Aug 21 UTC Autumn, 1903: yo turkey support baltic to liv next turn so that italy can't have it? blessupppppppp
03 Aug 21 UTC Autumn, 1903: owo
03 Aug 21 UTC Autumn, 1903: i dont like this game
04 Aug 21 UTC Spring, 1904: k time to cd then
05 Aug 21 UTC Spring, 1904: Turkey has no where to expand except italy, italy sent all their fleets into their north side and didnt build a fleet. wat
09 Aug 21 UTC Spring, 1904: GameMaster: Game was extended due to at least 1 member failing to enter orders and having an excused missed turn available. This has un-readied all orders.
09 Aug 21 UTC Spring, 1904: ready up you COWARDS!
09 Aug 21 UTC Spring, 1904: also can we collectively cd
10 Aug 21 UTC Autumn, 1904: lol
10 Aug 21 UTC Autumn, 1904: my baltic fleet held???
10 Aug 21 UTC Autumn, 1904: aight ima head out
10 Aug 21 UTC Autumn, 1904: move den -> swe please
17 Aug 21 UTC Autumn, 1905: not even going to take ionian? okay
22 Aug 21 UTC Autumn, 1905: GameMaster: Game was extended due to at least 1 member failing to enter orders and having an excused missed turn available. This has un-readied all orders.
29 Aug 21 UTC Autumn, 1905: GameMaster: Game was extended due to at least 1 member failing to enter orders and having an excused missed turn available. This has un-readied all orders.
03 Sep 21 UTC GameMaster: Game was extended due to at least 1 member failing to enter orders and having an excused missed turn available. This has un-readied all orders.
04 Sep 21 UTC GameMaster: Game was extended due to at least 1 member failing to enter orders and having an excused missed turn available. This has un-readied all orders.
05 Sep 21 UTC GameMaster: Game was extended due to at least 1 member failing to enter orders and having an excused missed turn available. This has un-readied all orders.

Start Backward Open large map Forward End

Italy
nobadinohz (102 D)
Drawn. Bet: 5 D, won: 12 D
14 supply-centers, 14 units
Germany
Drawn. Bet: 5 D, won: 12 D
3 supply-centers, 3 units
Russia
Aweffl (521 D)
Drawn. Bet: 5 D, won: 12 D
1 supply-centers, 1 units
Turkey
Sharem (95 D)
Resigned. Bet: 5 D
12 supply-centers, 12 units
France
morewhales (90 D)
Resigned. Bet: 5 D
4 supply-centers, 4 units
Austria
FizzesShark (203 D (S))
Defeated. Bet: 5 D
England
vdoubleu (90 D)
Defeated. Bet: 5 D
Civil Disorders
vdoubleu (90 D)England (Spring, 1903) with 4 centres.
morewhales (90 D)France (Autumn, 1905) with 6 centres.
Sharem (95 D)Turkey (Spring, 1906) with 12 centres.
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