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Finished: 11 AM Mon 15 Jan 18 UTC
Private War on Christmas
1 day /phase
Pot: 35 D - Spring, 1909, Finished
Classic, Anonymous players, Draw-Size Scoring
1 excused missed turn
Game drawn
10 Jan 18 UTC Autumn, 1907: England's best move was convincing France to Benedict Arnold on Germany one move after a Franco-Germanic Alliance turned the tables and prompted the crazy to come out of the island nation. That manipulation was actually impressive. I'm surprised France went along with it.

But, since England is in the rewriting history business, I'm guessing it won't be written that way.
10 Jan 18 UTC Autumn, 1907: Come on dude.

The only thing that can match England’s nauseating arrogance is your own. I know exactly what a proud person you are. My competitiveness makes you squirm because it reminds you of you.

It’s your pride that won’t let you acknowledge obvious truth.

I won’t survive but I’m quite happy with my game. Check the maps below. They are the history and your Dip lesson. Start with my army’s retreat to Finland and go from there.

If you’re polite from here on out I’ll let you get me coffee at my next Dip game.
10 Jan 18 UTC Autumn, 1907: It would be impossible for me to match your arrogance.
10 Jan 18 UTC Autumn, 1907: France bailed you out and effed me.

I'm sure you can't admit that.
10 Jan 18 UTC Autumn, 1907: I have no idea what you and France had in mind so I’m checking the record before admitting that France “bailed me out.”

Autumn 1903: English fleets in MAC, Brest, Eng Channel, and North Sea.

You’re right. He had me on the ropes and let me up.

What exactly was your offer? “You fight back against England while I collect SC’s in Russia?”

My message to France simple, “If you want a truce, I’m with you. If you want to know if I’m serious, watch my orders.”

I destroyed the fleet in Brest and then vacated the MAC and Channel.
10 Jan 18 UTC Autumn, 1907: I will admit to the arrogance, at least on Dip.

On many more things, I’m quite humble. For example, I admit I’m a grower not a shower and even then, my hand and foot size are misleading.

But in terms of on-the-board tactics and order execution yes, I’m very arrogant.

I’m as good at order execution as anyone either of us know. If you weren’t mad at me right now you’d agree.

To start 04, you had 10 SCs to my 3. Today you have 8, and 3 of those are Russian.

I didn’t survive this long by making technical errors with my orders.

You can say France “bailed you out” but as you see above it’s not like he had me by the throat. I needed France, and made a better offer than you. Destroying the fleet in Brest and leaving the army in Finland is TACTIC. I got an ally and drew your forces east.

On the topic of order execution, it’s the same.

Do you see that French army in Kiel? It’s possible because of a stand-off in Denmark one turn prior. Do you think that stand-off in Denmark was random? Ask France how many times I said I was going to do that before I did it at the perfect time.

You’re saying the game is all about who betrayed whom most effectively. It’s a huge part, for sure.

But order execution and tactics matter. I am super arrogant about it.

I definitely, regretfully admit to that.
10 Jan 18 UTC Autumn, 1907: I also like how you try to get me with, France bailed you out.

What do you call whatever Austria did for you?

Heck, that was my fault as much as anyone’s. You were dead and done.
11 Jan 18 UTC Autumn, 1907: Guys, I fucked Germany, Germany fucked England, and England fucked me (at the beginning; in 1902). The only country that regretfully didn't participate in this fuck fest was Austria. Sorry man, we didn't mean to leave you out. FYI, I love the trash talk, but more than that, this game is amazingly challenging on so many fronts and might be one of my favorite strategy games I've ever played. I appreciate everyone sticking around, and I'll say that again when Austria is in Marseilles and Germany is sipping wine in Paris.
11 Jan 18 UTC Autumn, 1907: I love the attitude France. You haven’t been the target of others’ angst like England, Austria or Germany, but also haven’t let any of it effect you; calm amidst what could be perceived as drama.

I have a knack for being able to punch hard with words. “Little Marco!” I get it. I don’t intend to upset people but seem to be capablez

I often forget people can interpret what I write more personally than intended. They can’t see me laughing while writing.

So, kumbaya.

Germany, if it helps, Germany is better than England at... basketball and... knowledge of history, as 2 examples off top of mind. And probably many other things.

But that’s all you’re getting for now.

England is definitely better at Diplomacy.
11 Jan 18 UTC Autumn, 1907: Just some thoughts. On first glance, I do not see a way through the northern front. It looks like a stalemate. Though, he could make a mistake. The obvious place of concern for him is Munich, which I can't move to because he can triple support. It's nice that it ties up Austria's forces in Tyrolia and Bohemia.
11 Jan 18 UTC Autumn, 1907: Whoops. That shouldn't have been on the main page. I'm an idiot.
11 Jan 18 UTC Autumn, 1907: Haha. Plus, you cluttered up our heartfelt messages!
11 Jan 18 UTC Autumn, 1907: And I think the correct public message was, “Thank God for Switzerland.”

It truly is the reason 10 SCs have any chance against 20.

I would love to meet the person who made this map. Just a few questions....
11 Jan 18 UTC Spring, 1908: Austria, can you give the cliff notes of the last 24 hours messages?

Austria and Germany both screwed up by not building more fleets. Those are so crucial.
11 Jan 18 UTC Spring, 1908: Both of us missing that turn certainly didn't help our cause.
11 Jan 18 UTC Spring, 1908: France, I just read your 7:29 post.
It's true that we like to fuck. I ain't mad at ya. It turns out it was the right move. My point is that we could have given England a solid double penetration. I know you know that, but I want England to know that his asshole was saved by you.
11 Jan 18 UTC Spring, 1908: England definitely needs a solid DP.
12 Jan 18 UTC Spring, 1908: Ask France if vacating MAC and Brest impacted his decision not to stick with Germany’s plan. If it did, did he save me or did I save myself?

And this is why Russia and Italy fucked Germany and Austria as much as anyone.

You can’t make any excuses that aren’t laughable. And you can’t throw any shade at me either. It sucks.
12 Jan 18 UTC Spring, 1908: In fact, if either of you had at any point owned the enormous advantage, I’d have been a civil and pleasant person.

The fact that your only input on the topic was, “England is a bitch,” just pissed me off.

Own it for me one time. Just say it. One time!
12 Jan 18 UTC Spring, 1908: I've read about 15% of England's Global posts. Austria, can you give me the cliff notes? How much of it is important?
12 Jan 18 UTC Spring, 1908: Haha. Yeah right.
12 Jan 18 UTC Autumn, 1908: At least read this. Because I/we need you to review my work below.

Given how fun this has been, this would be a shame but we might have a complete stalemate. I have to consider the Med Sea area a tad more, and that EC fleet would almost definitely have to move south, but at a brief glance, within 2 moves, it’s possible neither alliance has any possible way to advance.

I’ll just name the key spots for now. Again, I might have missed something so check and just reply “wrong” if I did.

Based upon current scenario, Norway, Skag, North Sea, Denmark, Kiel, Ruhr, Munich and Burgundy cannot be moved.

Presuming neither side takes a wild chance, those pieces can stay as they are indefinitely.

Austria can make progress in the Med area, but won’t be able to force a French fleet from an SC prior to French help arriving. It’s unlikely it would even get this far, but a combo of Marseilles, Spain, West Med, North Africa and Tunis is immovable whether Austria has 4 fleets or 400. No combination or orders could gain an SC.

Like I said, I’ll double check. Please do the same.

If I’m correct, it would require an alliance to break in order for any progress to occur.
12 Jan 18 UTC Autumn, 1908: Or I suppose Austria could give SCs to Germany and he could risk vacating Berlin in order to build.

If my destruction is important enough to you to try something that lame, don’t bother. I’ll give France my SC’s now. We won’t need to waste the time.
12 Jan 18 UTC Autumn, 1908: I'm not sure what Draw Size means. Does that mean our earnings are dependent on how many SCs we have when the game draws?
12 Jan 18 UTC Autumn, 1908: Not sure about that.

Like I said, if it’s really important to Germany and Austria that I end with no SC’s, that’s fine by me.

They might care a lot more than I do about my survival.

I have looked again and am nearly 100% certain that each side can support hold indefinitely if they want.

Full disclosure:

Other than ally betrayal, the only way option is for Austria to give an SC to Germany and then Germany risks clearing Berlin to build a fleet that he puts in the Baltic Sea.

Keeping Berlin open prior to a Build is a coin flip move that admittedly would be dramatic.

But that would be the 5th move, including this one, from now.

The ball is in Austria and Germany’s court, really.

If you need me dead, I’ll support-hold until you complete the process above. We see if that fleet is built in Berlin and go from there.
12 Jan 18 UTC Autumn, 1908: I decided to read as far back as the stream allows.

England, you said, "I have a knack for being able to punch hard with words. “Little Marco!” I get it. I don’t intend to upset people but seem to be capable."

England, I'm telling you this as a friend, your posts really read as if your every intention is to upset people. They read as being incredibly condescending. It might be the fact that you write so much and don't relent. I, for one, have tried to ignore the posts and not respond, but then another insult gets hurled. You seriously might want to consider writing novels because you are very convincing with your words.
12 Jan 18 UTC Autumn, 1908: England wrote, "Germany, if it helps, Germany is better than England at... basketball and... knowledge of history, as 2 examples off top of mind. And probably many other things.

But that’s all you’re getting for now.

England is definitely better at Diplomacy."

I agree. You are better at Diplomacy and are more intelligent generally. You can drink more than me before passing out as well. Billiards is yours, as well as darts.

Soccer and long distance running is mine. Mentoring teenagers goes my way as well. I'm fairly certain I'm a better lover, but we might have to search our past for someone that makes us Eskimo brothers to ask. Did we both sleep with that fat chick in Akron back in the day? The one with the huge tits. We could ask her to settle question over who the better lover is.
12 Jan 18 UTC Autumn, 1908: England wrote, "And this is why Russia and Italy fucked Germany and Austria as much as anyone.

You can’t make any excuses that aren’t laughable. And you can’t throw any shade at me either. It sucks."

As far as I can tell, no one is making excuses and no one is celebrating the fact that Italy and Russia allowed us to gain supply centers. I simply disagree that my attack on England was a mistake. I know you don't believe me, but it's true. That is what I believe. After that move, I was in great shape. Especially if France hadn't turned on me. I know I know, you get credit for turning France. That was well played. I should have been more convincing to him.
12 Jan 18 UTC Autumn, 1908: England wrote in Spring, 1908: "In fact, if either of you had at any point owned the enormous advantage, I’d have been a civil and pleasant person.

The fact that your only input on the topic was, “England is a bitch,” just pissed me off.

Own it for me one time. Just say it. One time!"

Holy shit, England! OF COURSE RUSSIA AND ITALY MISSING TURNS HELPED US. Jesus Christ! Why would that need to be said? Do you really think we don't realize that?

You wonder why people get annoyed and eventually call you names? Does the name calling really upset you? Because you are relentless. I'm not sure what you expect out of people. They are just trying to play a game here.

Again, I know you said that all of your posts are supposed to be funny or are part of the gameplay, but they don't read like that to anyone else but you. Seriously, you are wasting your writing ability unless you start a blog, novel, write editorials. Use your ability to strike people's nerves in a larger more important way than this.
13 Jan 18 UTC Autumn, 1908: No, I definitely don’t wonder why anyone calls me names. I just don’t care. I wanted to play a game too, but on a level playing field. I ended up having fun anyhow.

So what’s the deal? Do you guys need me dead before the end? If it’s that important, let me know.

I suppose it doesn’t matter, actually. I’m just going to submit my orders. Even if you said I need to die first, it probably doesn’t change my orders.

I just thought you ought to know that there’s almost no way out of this stalemate. The one way out is almost as risky for Germany/Austria as it is for England/France. And it requires Silesia to go to Vienna and back which takes time unless we all want to look at our phones together and resubmit the same orders four times.

Bottom line, you need a fleet in Barents or Baltic and need to retain all existing positions.

It’s up to you.
13 Jan 18 UTC Autumn, 1908: I don't care how it ends, I'm just ready to move on.

A level playing field would be nice, but I have not played web dip one time that didn't have at least one player who was complacent or novice. I'm not sure what a level playing field looks like in this game because I haven't seen it. Maybe the next game will have 7 experienced and committed players.
13 Jan 18 UTC Autumn, 1908: Inexperienced and complacent are fine. Hell, sometimes inexperienced players are more of a pain cause they’re unpredictable.

Absent players are another story.

Because one SC matters so much, they alter the game drastically. Absent players determine the outcome with near certainty.

That was true for this contest and usually is.
13 Jan 18 UTC Autumn, 1908: Again, no one denied the value of Russia and Italy's absence. We just didn't say anything about it. Perhaps if you had asked a little nicer we would have scratched that itch for you. And both Austria and Germany missed a turn. We secretly agreed to do that to make this game a little more even since there is so much riding on who wins and who loses.
13 Jan 18 UTC Autumn, 1908: Well, since France just moved the opposite direction of London, and Austria won't allow Angry England to survive for the draw, this game will go on for a very long time. It might not be able to end at all.
13 Jan 18 UTC Autumn, 1908: True.

Although doesn’t that make it Angry Austria?

I’m also not sure why France would accept that deal. Unless Germany stood down, France would likely fall from 2nd place to 3rd place in the process.

And if Germany/Austria did hold for the 7 moves France would need to take all English SCs that would be truly childish.

I don’t say this to be antagonistic, but that’s considerably more unreasonable to insist happen than anything I wrote.

Is that our scenario?

France won’t attack England, Austria won’t attack Germany, and Austria won’t hit draw unless England has no SC’s?
13 Jan 18 UTC Autumn, 1908: Yeah, as I look more, there might be a way for Austria to get through the South, but it will take time. He has to take some risks along the way too.

If he’s that stubborn about it, I’m impressed.
13 Jan 18 UTC It's not Angry Austria because Austria isn't the one that has been seemingly enraged throughout most of the game. Also, Austria took a lot of abuse and had little to say about it. I think Austria might have called England a bitch or something, which only angered the Anglos even more. England can dish it out like a Shakespeare of insult, but name calling crosses the line.

It's Stubborn Austria.

Austria, if you would just realize that England's opinions are facts, then you'd see how childish you are being.
13 Jan 18 UTC It’s really humorous because he could win the game in about 4-5 moves and win if he wanted. Is it possible that it’s sooooo important to him that I don’t survive that he drag this out 3 times that longer?

Austria, doesn’t that do damage to your sense of righteousness? You feel like you are holding some moral high ground, right?

Don’t ruin that. Dragging this out longer than it needs to is grossly more immature than me.

Plus, now you’re just being mean to your ally Germany. He doesn’t feel like continuing either. You’d make him suffer for your vendetta?

I’m going to hit the the draw button. Based on the previous turn’s orders I get the feeling Germany and France agree. Hopefully Austria will spare us all the misery.
13 Jan 18 UTC And btw, just because you don’t post anything doesn’t make you less angry.

His actions show is anger.
13 Jan 18 UTC Immature isn't an appropriate word for this game. We've all behaved with the level headedness of true dignitaries.
13 Jan 18 UTC If Austria is who I think it is, you would have seen true maturity the other day. Talk about someone whose opinion needs to be fact. Sheesh.

For a while now, some Buckeye fans have questioned JT Barrett’s ability to help the team reach its full potential. The issue came up again Monday when Saban benched Hurts at HT is the NC game. Could Urban have done the same with JT?

I made the case that personally, I’d seen all I needed to know about JT by the OK game this year. That, plus the previous 5 or so games against good D’s was pretty solid proof that with JT, we cap out as Big 10 champs. Really great. Just not a shot at being the greatest. That’s it. It’s not Buckeye blasphemy to wonder. Or is it?

You’d have thought I called Austria’s grandma a whore. He went on this rant about how JT was 39-6 as a starter and demanded that I predict our record over the previous 4 seasons if he wasn’t our QB.

I was like, “Damn dude? What do the 35 games prior to OK 2017 have to do with anything?”

Finally I was like, “I’m not sure what it has to do with anything, but I can’t promise Haskins would have beaten Iowa. He couldn’t have been any worse than JT’s 4 INT’s but I can’t guarantee a win.”

He was like, “Ha, ha, gotcha, I win.”

Win what, I can’t tell you. Someone was uptight about JT. It was weird.
13 Jan 18 UTC So the lesson here is; Austria is unrelenting and unabashedly certain of himself when it comes to the Buckeyes and England is the same with Web Dip.

I'm probably the same way when it comes to certain topics.
13 Jan 18 UTC Aaron was certain he was able to know an unknown about the team being better if JT was benched... so I asked him how much better they would be? He said he didn’t know and that the question was absurd.

Which is strange to me, if you have the ability to know something can be better... wouldn’t you be able to muster a guess at the quantity of how much better it could be?
13 Jan 18 UTC Beau asked me to draw. I said ok reluctantly. Stupid France.
13 Jan 18 UTC Thanks Austria. I don't take offense to that. My loyalty to an alliance that has gone on for five sets of moves is such that I will never win outright one of these games.

In any event, I am happy with the way this ended. It is a draw, but Austria probably would've found a way to win eventually, probably by the time that Haskins notches his 4th win, when TCU goes down in Texas. Germany, another game???
13 Jan 18 UTC I'll try to create another game, but it might be difficult to find players.

England his out. He told me he isn't interested in the games I create because I can't predict how committed the players I get will be.

Austria might be in. I'll ask.

I highly doubt Italy and Turkey will play again after the verbal ass rape they got, but I'll ask. Maybe they'll play since England refuses to play with them.

Russia was a first time player who is probably completely turned off by the game for the same reasons Italy and Turkey are weary.

I might send out a FB post requesting participants. They might not be any good, but this isn't for money, so maybe it doesn't really matter that much if they aren't good or fully committed.
14 Jan 18 UTC Well, I never said I was certain of any outcome. YOU said I was certain.

I’m sure Saban wasn’t positive they would win if he changed QBs. But he was confident they would lose if he didn’t.

And that’s the point. By the time we got through OK, JT had proven with near certainty that he wasn’t going to beat certain teams. Like, the rest of the top 5-10.

For that reason, going to Haskins, an unknown, made sense after the OK game unless your decision is based on loyalty.

Germany, what is with the “verbal ass-rape” stuff?

The only person I verbally ass-raped was Austria and that was later in the game.

Seriously, how sensitive are you guys. Damn! It’s like playing with my sister, wife and daughter.

Honestly, I think you are reading way too deeply into some of those comments. Saying publicly that I’m not happy with people disappearing is not the same as “verbal ass-rape”

Major overreaction.

But you’re correct. I don’t want to play with you guys.
14 Jan 18 UTC Okay. Maybe you didn't take it out on those guys like you did Austria. I only half-read most of what you wrote. My mistake. I do know that I was embarrassed and apologized to those guys.

But who are you calling sensitive? You asked for a legitimate apology because I hurt your feelings by calling you names while you were lambasting me for bothering to create the game. Right, I'm the sensitive one.
14 Jan 18 UTC For the record, I was in no way offended. I’ve played with Aaron before. This was probably the most nagging he has ever been in the game, but I don’t think it was by much.

I missed and felt like an idiot because of it, but not because he said so. The only people I “screwed” by missing were 3/4 people who ended up drawing. If anything, I helped them by disappearing because I had to screw at least one of them over for real. I couldn’t be on austria, Germany, and france’s side forever. I definitely wish I hadn’t missed. I was looking forward to playing this game.

But no offense taken, honestly couldn’t care less. I did think my “sorry for kicking your puppy” line was pretty funny...
14 Jan 18 UTC For the record, I was in no way offended. I’ve played with Aaron before. This was probably the most nagging he has ever been in the game, but I don’t think it was by much.

I missed and felt like an idiot because of it, but not because he said so. The only people I “screwed” by missing were 3/4 people who ended up drawing. If anything, I helped them by disappearing because I had to screw at least one of them over for real. I couldn’t be on austria, Germany, and france’s side forever. I definitely wish I hadn’t missed. I was looking forward to playing this game.

But no offense taken, honestly couldn’t care less. I did think my “sorry for kicking your puppy” line was pretty funny...

Start Backward Open large map Forward End

Austria
abernat (161 D)
Drawn. Bet: 5 D, won: 9 D
14 supply-centers, 14 units
France
kvarian (100 D)
Drawn. Bet: 5 D, won: 9 D
9 supply-centers, 9 units
Germany
bschluep (57 D)
Drawn. Bet: 5 D, won: 9 D
8 supply-centers, 8 units
England
aschluep (257 D)
Drawn. Bet: 5 D, won: 9 D
3 supply-centers, 3 units
Italy
dwhorton (141 D)
Defeated. Bet: 5 D
Turkey
mfmozi (151 D)
Defeated. Bet: 5 D
Russia
mls7227 (100 D)
Defeated. Bet: 5 D
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