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21 Aug 13 UTC	Spring, 1999: Good luck everyone!
21 Aug 13 UTC	Spring, 1999: Top stories from Cuban news media, Spring 1999: "Fidel Castro rejoices with the collapse of the Capitalist Empire of the United States of America": For many decades, America has posed a direct obstacle to Cuban growth. Cuba and America's troubled diplomatic relations were highlighted by the Cuban missile crisis, which is well-known in Cuba as history's greatest simple misunderstanding. Castro is now confident that this new status quo will be a great boost to the chances of Cuban success in Latin and North America. Castro ranted that the time is now to encourage America to re-unite under a Cuban socialist umbrella, and that Cuban leadership is exactly what the American people need right now. TO BE CLEAR, Castro was not making a declaration of war against the 5 remaining American states. He is open to diplomatic negotiations with any American states willing to embrace socialism. Castro also expressed remorse about the collapse of Canada, America's other socialist neighbor. However, Castro sees this particular crisis as an opportunity to strengthen diplomatic ties with Quebec, a former province of Canada known to Cuba for its enthusiastic, radical socialist policies. The Cuban government is also considering the delivery of foreign aid to British Columbia, which would consist mainly of healthcare, bananas, rum and cigars. "Cuban government denies role in assisting FARC": The government of Cuba is denying accusations made by the former USA that the CIA (Cuban Intelligence Agency) was involved in assisting Colombian rebels against the government of the time. No evidence can be found against the CIA in support of this claim. Also, the government has declared all this to be utterly irrelevant since Peru has inexplicably invaded Columbia anyway.
21 Aug 13 UTC	Spring, 1999: "Prison in Guantanamo Bay closed; reopened as luxury hotel": With America's collapse, Castro has finally managed to do what America's first black President, Bill Clinton, failed to, which is to finally close down the prison at Guantanamo Bay! The controversial prison, which has long held several combatants in the U.S. "War on Drugs", was closed down, and its prisoners released. Fidel Castro himself is pleased to announce a new project to renovate the prison and have it turned into a luxury hotel. The hotel is expected to generate large amounts of revenue in tourism and the earliest reservations will be for New Years' Eve, 1999, for a New Year's grand opening ball! Invitations for the ball are already being extended to the leaders of those Latin and North American countries that adopt socialism by Autumn 1999.
22 Aug 13 UTC	Spring, 1999: Today, April 9, of the 1999th year of the modern era, the four cities of Chicago, Minneapolis, Milwaukee and Indianapolis declare themselves free from the crumbling government of the Union. At the will of the people, we declare that the land of the former states of Minnesota, Wisconsin, Illinois, Indiana and Iowa are the territories of the Heartland Dominion. All are welcome within our borders; we protect the peaceful way of life of the traditional heartland. All who oppose us will know fear but all who join us will live in peace an prosperity. Our great leader, Lincoln II, will lead us into the future. All hail the Heartland; all hail peace.
25 Aug 13 UTC	Spring, 1999: The nation of Texas sends sincere greetings to all other nations on behalf of our esteemed leader King George of Bush the IX. We seek to expand our message of peace and understanding abroad. We salute the attempts of the Heartland Dominion to protect the traditional way of life and call on all other nations to join the cause. Yours extremely sincerely, The Sovereign Republic of Texas.
26 Aug 13 UTC	Autumn, 1999: The nation of California is pleased to announce that President Schwarzenegger has been re-elected by its citizens. To celebrate this joyous occasion, we call upon any state leaders who are interested in attending the Oscars taking place next Spring to send a request for an invitation. We seek to emphasize our mission of peace, security and international co-operation. California is an open and heartwarming nation who wishes to enjoy the true wonders of nature. All are welcome within our borders with a peaceful intention; but we condemn any hostile or violent behaviour. We look forward to dealing with all nations who have similar intentions and objectives to ensure world peace. Sincerely, California
03 Sep 13 UTC	Spring, 2000: Press Release From Cuba, Spring 2000. "World Leaders miss out on party of the millennium": December 31st, 1999 marked the beginning of what was clearly the best party ever that has taken place in the last 1000 years. The grand opening of the Guantanamo Bay Luxury Hotel, Spa and Casino was a smashing success, with several Cuban politicians, artists and socialites in attendance. Many of the guests were able to enjoy a tour of the Museum of American War Crimes in the Hotel's basement. Sadly, no other world leaders were in attendance, despite invitations having been sent out to both Canadas, all five Americas and Mexico and Peru. However, those Cubans who did attend know that it was totally their loss. The lack of international representation at the event was especially confusing, given the recent relocation of the UN to Havana.