"65,535 characters"

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To view this in its full glory, delete the "user" from the URL, changing it from

.net/userprofile.php?

to

.net/profile.php?

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"Your profile and split's are the main reason I threw [the profile comment] in a box." - JMO

My life's work is done. This profile's work is done. Oh lord have mercy, my flutterin' heart can't take this praise from our god.

Original: https://imgur.com/a/vxz7E0K

Merciful god indeed. (//∇//)

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“Kill one man, and you're a murderer. Kill millions of men, and you're a conqueror. Kill them all, and you're a God.”

-Jean Rostand

Think big, yeah?

:)

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I fail at many things :d
including playing diplomacy

you know what I really want?
to have press like crack cocaine, filthy and a bad habit to stop

One day, dammit, one day.

=========

webDiplomacy polandball comics: https://imgur.com/a/C9s9jwL

"webdiplomacy.net : the comic" is undergoing creation, say hello to anthropomorphised anime girl versions of diplomacy sites :p

Link to comic: https://tapas.io/episode/1664049

Only one episode so far, but stay tuned! I’ll make more...one day.

=========

Miscellaneous Comics, Images, and Shitposts:

1) join nexus: https://imgur.com/kGqvzc6

2) jmo-chan: https://imgur.com/a/TRxkCVw

3) another jmo: https://imgur.com/a/lBIPWoH

4) zultar-sama: https://imgur.com/a/ELe1BAn

5) karma whoring: https://imgur.com/a/N3Roph2

6) jmo checked: https://imgur.com/a/UPmxaVw

7) foxcastle policy lynch comic: https://imgur.com/a/8RFRHeU

8) "You Can Eat My Burrito Anytime, EMC": https://imgur.com/a/bF0HfoN

9) "Waking up to no Vecna": https://tapas.io/episode/2005101

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Bot Game, 26 SC win for KestasBot: https://webdiplomacy.net/board.php?gameID=246549

=========

Lowest RR on the site, at -1563%:
https://webdiplomacy.net/profile.php?userID=68779

Webarchived version: https://web.archive.org/web/20201101182253/https://webdiplomacy.net/profile.php?userID=68779

All the lowest RR: https://imgur.com/a/R0wy2QZ

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How to Enter Orders, but NMR Somehow Anyways, and Cry at the Loss of Points from a Possible Draw by EMC:

(It's certainly a fun case, that's for sure. I subbed into a game at around 10 seconds, entered orders, saved them, then NMR'd and got temp-banned - even though the orders went through on the map that turn, lol)

https://imgur.com/a/iJbmD8n

Game in question: https://webdiplomacy.net/board.php?gameID=327404

Y'all should take a gamble at it, eh?

=========

Everyone has these fancy quotes related to themselves and I have none, so here are some added in for the sake of having a long profile. Squigs has told me as long as it doesn't break 65k characters, I'll be fine.

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Best complaint about self in a game so far:


"Trieste, you've taken the sexual appeal thing too far" - Sweden

"Oh fuck, stop while you can." - Sweden again

"What do you even want me to stop?" - Trieste

"He wants you to stop having massive sex appeal" - Bulgaria, that gloriously shameless clay eater. May you eat clay in all your games.

"Ignore my previous comments please" - Sweden

=========

This is how Mags works lol:

"Excuse me.
WHAT" - poor Mags, innocent Mags.

"Are you cheating on your friend with another friend?" - Magnetic24

"i don't think that's it
it must be a threesome
it's the only logical conclusion" - e.m.c

"emc...god... bless america"

And of course, then he got himself smashed by jmo.

=========

And this is Aurelin:

"You're Durga's multi"

"You're from that corner of the internet."

"therefore you're a psychopath"

"You
Existed"

=========

"##VOTE XORXES

Where is he hiding?" - Jamie


"Peekaboo! I was behind the curtains! I'm surprised you didn't notice the unusual bulge with your famed attention to details." - xorxes

"I've heard stories about your unusual bulge. I think EMC wrote some fanfic on the topic." - Jamie

=========

"Is there anything in particular you're interested in?" - e.m.c

"Yes, that bulge fanfic you were writing about me that Jamiet mentioned." - xorxes

=========

For the record, it did not exist until he asked for it lol

=========

Xorxes closes his eyes, hooded lids, and remembers.


Commodus is all of sixteen and eleven months in a position of near-absolute power, born and bred for a place to rule beyond the dreams of commoners - and it shows. He is still lithe with youth; coiled power in bared arms and legs of gold, sheer arrogance and power in unmarked skin. His opponents were never quite fast enough to mark deep, never quite tactical enough - never quite as suicidal enough, to do so.

That day, Xorxes is appointed as lictor. The magistrate he’s assigned to is soft, reddish hued in jowls, and prone to walking slowly.

By such chance, he is in the path of Commodus. Xorxes hurries over and off to the side, following his protectee, when a soft voice commands.

“Stop.” Footsteps, silent but felt, slip over. He is faced with a smooth, sharper, countenance than his own.

The young consul stands close, and rubs a thumb over a harsh line, contours of jaw and dark stubble. His fingers catch upon skin as they drag, pulling with the lightest of touches.

Xorxes smells the tang of copper and the sweet honeyed fruit that must’ve been consumed earlier that day. It sticks.

“I like this one,” Nephthys offers in an off-handed way. “He’s got the build and an intensity to those eyes - it’s like watching the gaze of a wild bear, who’ll just as likely tear you apart as is to move aside.”

Xorxes knows he does not react visibly; decades of training holds precedence automatically without thought.

Grinning, the shorter man continues, “But of course, much more intelligent. A mere beast would not have the control, even when trained, to not respond.” Nephthys peers closer upon his face, and his gaze drops down. “Not to mention, he’s built like a barbarian as well - large in all the right parts, I see.” A slightly derisive huff - or a note of humorous interest - escapes from his lips.

“Swap him out for the red haired one at the end."

=========

"Maybe the flavor text for alien infection is "giving them D.N.A"." - Ezio

"oh yes, the flavor text is totally "giving them D.N.A":

Me: ##infect Ike

ND: EMC strokes his target gently with his long tentacles. He wraps them around Ike's body softly, like the touch of hot, moist wind. A moan comes out from Ike, and he shifts slightly in EMC's grasp - but alas! he is asleep. As he relaxes further into his dreams, the tentacles probe deep into Ike's body and releases goo, giving him the gift of EMC's alien DNA.

ND: You have successfully infected RagingIke"

"Literally kill me" - Ike

=========

"does anyone want to read flyingspaghettimonster!Claebae x infected!Ike fiction"

"it will be an angsty, romantic work, synopsis is this:

From a continuation of the previous work: It's a cruel, dark world after the alien died and left Ike, pining and lonely. Despondent, he tries to follow the extraterrestrial and leave the living land for good - but in the nick of time, a very similar yet different entity approaches him. Will he find his light and will to live again with Claebae, the flying spaghetti monster?"

=========

fwiw that above ended up leading to something terrible and the most awkward situation encounterable on webdip. It is being memorialized so I never give into temptation and make the mistake again.

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"EMC, sometimes I worry about you." - Chaqa

I'm very touched he's concerned :D
it gives one the warm and fuzzy feelings inside

=========

Since we're talking about Chaqa, light of my life, heart of my stomach, the following two are a few snippets of the greatest Chipotle epics involving him.

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"'Assclaim'?

Sounds kinky bro." - Jamie

=========

It's Chaqa n Chipotle, whaddya expect?
-------------

That creamy, satiny smooth avacado, spread all over the luscious, juicy meat wrapped in a tortilla, spurting as you bite -

Chaqa moaned, and suddenly woke up with hunger in his torso. Of all the things he could've dreamed about, oh god why.

But Chipotle.

He knew he had a character trait that made him partial to such foodstuffs, a particular weakness for this franchise - but he's never thought about it in that way before.

Distinctly uncomfortable, and rather tense, he rouses himself up from bed to splash water on his face. His breath unevenly fogs the mirror, face flushed and paling, mottled cheeks. Unbidden, the sensation of flared nose and lips while biting around - fuck he doesn't want to think about this.

Desperately, Chaqa throws himself at his laptop for a distraction. Flying through tabs, wikipedia-wikipedia-work-porn shit that doesn't help at all gmail-chipotle coupon fuck that's even worse webdiplomacy.net.

Ah. Webdip, and all the forum mafia that comes with it. The ultimate time procrastinating, consuming, and otherwise distracting place to be. With a sigh of relief, he navigates over to the thread and starts scrolling though the posts.

Mind abuzz with all the conspiracies natural, he starts tapping out vaguely crafted texts. After all, no point in revealing his hand of tinfoils early.

But unfortunately for Chaqa, he ends up reading this tripe hacked up by EMC and ends up hungrier than before. lol

=========

M1009: Chaqotle, the Saga of Unlikely True Love and High Adventure in our Capitalistic World

=========

It is the year 2020, and despite the cruel efforts of society to stamp out any wisps of longing for True Love, the flames of desire still burn on within the chest of one very special man. With his bespectacled eyes and facial hair that attracted cheese, Chaqa was the very specimen of a soul who yearned, as he never quite got to the point of actually obtaining what he wanted.

For what exactly he so desperately pined for, it is not quite known, but obviously it was of great import. Big dreams, great plans. Really good thoughts. Or something.

But mostly, as any webDip-person could tell you, it was for Chipotle.

=========

Day One: The Awakening.
Also known as “The Day Chaqa Realised it was a Bad Idea to Read What EMC Spouts”

=========

It was by all remarks, the start of an utterly ordinary day. Bland, dull - the morning started off oddly soft in the way that ordering a burrito of pinto beans and five servings of sour cream would make your bowels go. Soft, as in how the cashier thinks you’re soft in the head for ordering such a monstrosity. Or maybe you’re just the kind of guy who goes to home on Tuesday utterly stoned.

The cashier is despairing over her career choice too much to theorise more. Man, she ain’t got no brainpower for this. Not on Tuesday morning.

But that is of no matter. Our intrepid main character is about to, well, make this morning a lot harder.

Chaqa wakes in the way zombies or chronic insomniacs did. Regretfully, achy small tendrils curling in the joints. Lightly puffed eyelids (but that was practically a facial structure thing at this point, hah), dry from scrolling distractions. Tired.

However, Chaqa, like zombies, is pleasantly unaware of his vaguely-non-living status checks. He’s just a pure, simply Chipotle man. With introspection and bread dwelled naught but misery, as the Truth resides naturally in not oneself, but within the blessing known as ‘Chipotle’. To consume is to live, and Chaqa’s gon get that tortilla, dammit.

He is hungry. Chaqa falls to his knees and prays to the toppings shrine.

Rice, black beans, pinto beans.

Fajita veggies, guac, shredded cheese, queso,
corn salsa, tomato salsa, green chili tomatillo salsa, red chili tomatillo salsa,
sour cream, romaine lettuce.

Which one of the toppings shall he choose first? Sacred rituals aside, perhaps it would be best to consult the webDip forum this week…

=========

I also believe it's possible there's a significant number of +1's that originated from here. +1's are fun. Causing inflation is even more fun.

=========

There should be enough people-related content now, next on the average profile should probably be quotes from books or ascii art.

ascii art is more fun :D

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^ ^
(O,O)
( )
- "- "- -

nvm I forgot spaces don't work.

kaomoji then.

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How to negotiate in diplomacy:

＼(￣▽￣)／
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ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ
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(ノ°Д°）ノ︵ ┻━┻
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（；¬＿¬)~+( ≧Д≦)/
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(ಠ_ಠ)
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If you're reading this, you should click on my forum profile ;D

I spent 37 fucking minutes shrinking down that copypasta by hand to make it fit in the exact character limit.


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"The ending of WWII was AWFUL

So am I the only one upset about how WWII ended? I mean they built Hitler up to be the big bad and just when he is about to face justice, he goes and kills himself. WTF was the point of him if FDR and Churchill were not going to fight him in an epic duel to save the world? And don't get me started on FDR! They just kill him half way through the war. Truman totally did not deserve to win the war, his character arc was not about war winning. And it certainly wasn't about destroying two cities with bullshit deus ex super weapons that came out of nowhere.

And another thing that pissed me off is that in the last episode of the war we find out that Stalin was a bad guy the entire time! Where was this foreshadowed to us? WTF, absolute character assassination. He was all about freeing the oppressed and bringing about a new system that wasn't shackling the poor and they made him a dictator? That is bullshit!

Anyways, WWII was cool but its end was absolutely trash and I would like you guys to sign a petition to have it rewritten."


"They overplayed Mussolini's 'silly clumsy villain' character too much. He was built up as a slightly ditzy but still menacing bad guy, until he got counterattacked by fucking Greece and I nearly stopped watching. Italy didn't even get an interesting role in the North Africa sub-plot, it was all Rommel and his tanks.

Also, anyone else feel Japan's storyline was too edgy? We already had the Nazis as the evil genocidal bad guys, we didn't need all those graphic scenes in Nanking. The villains responsible for that didn't even get a proper retribution they just went into hiding or something.

There were amazing subplots that didn't go anywhere like the Spanish civil war followed by Francisco Franco being neutral. Turkey got an incredible backstory then it seems like the directors just forgot about it (I think they killed Kemal way too early).

Honestly this is nearly worse than the first season's bullshit ending where Germany just gives up and throws it's king out. Then the foreshadowing with the Versailles treaty scene was so fucking obvious. The Ottoman subplot was the most interesting thing about that series (Lawrence of Arabia, Gallipoli, the genocides, Mustafa Kemal being introduced).

The weird 'Cold war' third season had interesting concepts, great characters, flawed protagonists, lots at stake and tense moments but ends in the same anticlimactic fashion as all the previous seasons.

There are rumors that we'll get a new season soon. Hopefully they can write a decent ending."


"The Cold War was supposed to be a tie-in with World War 2, but still it's own thing. Sadly, it went on way too fucking long in the current shows timeline. I've heard that they're thinking of taking the wars back to a more "traditional" era i.e the middle East, but I don't think that's a good idea. What's even the point of the middle East? I hope there's some other story's that are not completely American/British centered, maybe something African? Idk. The acting and political turmoil is the only reason I watch now, the writings shit."

- copypasta, share it

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"fun fact:

mike wazowski’s chin is also his crotch"

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=========

Giant tone shift here, but this: https://www.reddit.com/r/nosleep/comments/8rz8wj/the_climb/

is my absolute favorite r/nosleep story, and it will always be. It hit me pretty hard the first time reading it, and it still does. Going to copy/paste in here since if you're bothering to read this profile, you should read it.

=========

“I want you to kill her,” the voice echoed. Low, monotonic, unwavering.

In front of me was my mother, crucified haphazardly upon a ramshackle wooden cross. Rivets were driven through each palm - with rope fastenings in place around her ankles and shoulders to keep her in position.

Her eyes, red and cracked from exposure, pulled open by tape, to reveal pupils dilated with fear.

Her mouth was sewn shut. Muffling her tired pleas.

“This is hardly an existence,” the voice licked.

I surveyed my surroundings. I was in a small, square room, with metal walls no larger than my studio apartment. The roof, however, was missing, replaced by an empty void that seemed to stretch endlessly into the darkness above.

About five feet in front of me was my mother. Writhing weakly against her restraints. Five feet behind her, an impossibly tall ladder stretching into the abyss.

“What are you waiting for? As if you care,” the voice prompted.

Who was talking? Where was this voice coming from? Its warm presence swaddled me like a warm blanket.

In one swift surge, the gravity of the situation dawned on me. I didn’t know where I was. I didn’t like being lost.

I felt the kick of adrenaline into my bloodstream. My heart, beating against my ribcage. My hands, clammy. I clenched them repeatedly. Open, closed. Open, closed.

I needed to get out of here.

“End her.”

My gaze dashed to my right hand side to find a surgical stand stocked full of pain-inflicting paraphernalia.

A knife. A rope. A pistol. Razor blades, full needles, strange pills and powder.

An arsenal fit to maim, disfigure, destroy.

I reached for the razor blade. I could cut the stitching on my mother’s mouth - garner some insight into what the fuck was going on.

My mother always knew what was going on.

With the razor blade in hand, I walked gingerly up to my mother - whose eyes lit up as I approached.

And through all the pain, tears and stitches, as I drew closer, she smiled.

I held up my left hand to coddle my mother’s face, with the razor blade still pinched in my right.

And as she nuzzled her face into my palm, I cracked. I wept harder than I’d ever wept before. Full-bodied, wracking sobs crashed over me.

Because it didn’t matter how bad anything got. It didn’t matter how broken the situation, or how broken the person.

My mother was just happy I was there.

I steadied myself and lifted up my right hand, trembling as I drew closer to her face - ready to pick away at the stitches to the best of my ability.

The first few snapped, then the next, until all the stitches had been split and I had liberated her mouth from its cage.

I exhaled raggedly, leaning back to look deeply into my mother’s eyes.

“M-Mum?”

But as tears fell down her cheeks, through her warm, loving smile, she uttered one word.

“Climb.”

I peered past her towards the ladder, then looked back towards her for reassurance. It took a slow, simple nod to realise that this was what I had to do.

And as I walked slowly towards the ladder, she murmured one last thing.

“I love you.”

“I love you too, mum.”

I never said that enough.

Then, with razor blade still in hand, I climbed. I climbed with determination. I climbed for what seemed like hours.

I climbed past broken rungs, and even when I was tired, I kept on climbing.

I cried as I climbed, but I pushed through, with snot dribbling down my chin and tears clouding my vision.

I reminisced as I climbed. I climbed through good memories, I climbed through bad memories. I climbed through the time when I had the flu and my mother came around to do my laundry, and I climbed through the time my girlfriend cheated on me.

I climbed because I was sick of this dark room. I climbed to make my mother proud.

And as I climbed, the darkness subsided, opening itself up to light.

I could see the where the ladder ended now. I could see my way out.

As I placed my hand on the last rung of the ladder and pulled myself up over the edge, I was overcome by brightness.

The light subsided, and as I got my bearings, I found myself on my back in my bathtub, still clutching the razorblade.

Urgent knocking on my bathroom door roused me from my daze.

“Are you alright in there? Your sister called. We’re worried about you.”

It was my mother’s voice.

I got up out of the bathtub, and placed the razorblade back on the shelf, walking towards the door. And as I flung it open, she looked at me. She looked at me and she knew.

She held me in her arms and we sobbed.

“I wouldn’t know how to live without you,” she whimpered.

My climb had just begun.”

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=========

fuck now I'm maudlin again

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=========

Speaking of writing, there is a man named Greg Holley on Quora who has a gift for distilling emotion and passion and the raw human experience into words, arranged patterns of power upon a screen.

I really, really recommend reading. I really do.

=========

This profile is kinda growing out of control lol
but that's ok, it's only a 6th of the way there to the max character count at this point.

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| ||

|| |_

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Interactive fiction is a hobby, try playing some! These are a few of my favorites that I will now recommend to anyone still reading:

Eat Me (or most works by Chandler Groover), With Those We Love Alive (or porpentine's other works), Warbler's Nest (it's a lurking horror, which I especially like), Plotkin's Spider and Web/Shade, Child's Play, All Things Devours, Aisle, Pick Up the Phonebooth and Aisle, One Eye Open, Hitchhiker's Guide (with the walkthrough), Slouching Towards Bedlam, Tethered.

Violet was dreadfully amusing. And too relatable.

Ones I haven't been able to completely play through yet (I'm rather bad without hints lol) but still like: Cragne Manor, and the work it was inspired by, Anchorhead. It's honestly a full novel in and of by itself. Shrapnel. A Beauty Cold and Austere. Many more I can't recall off the top of my head currently, haha.

=========

Here are links to the ones I’ve recommended; you can play all of them in your browser.

If you’ve never played IF before, I suggest first playing either the tutorial or 9:05, both by Adam Cadre as an introduction.

Tutorial [Adam Cadre]: http://adamcadre.ac/if/tutorial.html

9:05 [Adam Cadre]: http://iplayif.com/?story=https%3A%2F%2Fifarchive.org%2Fif-archive%2Fgames%2Fzcode%2F905.z5

Eat Me [Chandler Groover]: http://ifarchive.org/if-archive/games/competition2017/Eat%20Me/Eat%20Me/index.html

With Those We Love Alive [porpentine]: http://slimedaughter.com/games/twine/wtwla/
(To start this one, click on the pink “<3” text.)

Warbler’s Nest [Jason McIntosh]: http://iplayif.com/?story=http%3A%2F%2Fjmac.org%2Fwarbler%2FThe%2520Warbler%27s%2520Nest.zblorb

Spider and Web [Andrew Plotkin]: http://iplayif.com/?story=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.ifarchive.org%2Fif-archive%2Fgames%2Fzcode%2FTangle.z5

Child’s Play [Stephen Granade]: http://iplayif.com/?story=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.ifarchive.org%2Fif-archive%2Fgames%2Fzcode%2FChildsPlay.zblorb

All Things Devours [half sick of shadows]: http://iplayif.com/?story=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.ifarchive.org%2Fif-archive%2Fgames%2Fzcode%2Fdevours.z5

Aisle [Sam Barlow]: http://iplayif.com/?story=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.ifarchive.org%2Fif-archive%2Fgames%2Fzcode%2FAisle.z5

One Eye Open [Caelyn Sandel, Carolyn VanEseltine]: http://iplayif.com/?story=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.ifarchive.org%2Fif-archive%2Fgames%2Fcompetition2010%2Fglulx%2Foneeyeopen%2FOne%2520Eye%2520Open.gblorb

The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy [Douglas Adams, Steve Meretzky]: http://iplayif.com/?story=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.douglasadams.com%2Fcreations%2Fhhgg.z3

Slouching Towards Bedlam [Star Foster, Daniel Ravipinto]: http://iplayif.com/?story=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.ifarchive.org%2Fif-archive%2Fgames%2Fcompetition2003%2Fzcode%2Fslouch%2Fslouch.z5

Anchorhead [Michael Gentry]: http://iplayif.com/?story=http%3A%2F%2Fifarchive.org%2Fif-archive%2Fgames%2Fzcode%2Fanchor.z8

A Beauty Cold and Austere [Mike Spivey]: http://iplayif.com/?story=https%3A%2F%2Fgithub.com%2Fmzspivey%2FA-Beauty-Cold-and-Austere%2Fraw%2Fmaster%2FABCA.gblorb

Junior Arithmacer [Mike Spivey]: http://iplayif.com/?story=https%3A%2F%2Fgithub.com%2Fmzspivey%2FJunior-Arithmancer%2Fraw%2Fmaster%2FJunior%2520Arithmancer.gblorb

Violet [Jeremy Freese]: http://iplayif.com/?story=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.ifarchive.org%2Fif-archive%2Fgames%2Fzcode%2FViolet.zblorb

=========

Also, what we really need is a diplomacy-themed IF work. I'll get around to attempting to write in one day - if you want something desperately enough, and there's no one else who will......

:P

=========

Mafia is fun too, if you haven't played give it a try :D
it's just a few clicks over in the forum. Am bad at it, but who cares.

Games Played: 13 (42, 43, 44, Mini Mafia V, 1007, 47, 48, 49, 51, 52, 53, 54, 55)

Games GM'd: 3 (45, 1008, 50)

Town Wins: 4 (42, 43, 52, 55)
Town Losses: 4 (47, 49, 51, 54)

Scum Wins: 3 (Mini Mafia V, 1007, 53)

3rd Party Win: 1 (48)
3rd Party Loss: 1 (44)

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In terms of art, anything by Wenqing Yan/yuumeiart is very good, and often relevant to active issues in our world, from government and technology to the environment - especially Fisheye Placebo, now that the Hong Kong protests are going on. The similarities are stark.

Annarasumanara, by Il-Kwon Ha, has lovely social commentary as well as beautiful art. His other works (God of Bath, Duty After School) are also rather poignant reflections.

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This has turned into a recommendations page lmao

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Oh well, if I'm recommending, might as well go all-in.

There is an animated series known as Violet Evergarden that I quite liked, from beautiful artwork scenes to the emotional impact of the plot line, to character growth. For anyone who is interested in slice-of-life, emotions, and the impacts of processing them, it might be worth looking at. It has its flaws, certainly - heavy handedness being one - but it was an enjoyable process watching, especially as it’s so short.

I also liked the portrayal of a character who’s on the spectrum, but not as a gimmick - which can be hard to find at times in media.

13 episodes with each episode timing 24 minutes or so.

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As for books, out-of-the-way pieces, stories that most people perhaps wouldn't find in mainstream recommendations (not that those works aren't good, but simply that they already have enough exposure, which the following ones I do not believe so to be the same), or known of but not actually read;

for most of what is listed, the style of narration will be something that makes or breaks the work for you, lol

It's also worth noting that most of these are probably best appreciated as a younger person in mind, without a pre-existing, rigid, sense of self in the world.

For when one had enough energy and the ambition to live a life of...well, you don't quite know yet, but something bound to be great. for when there isn't quite a set belief in "this is how to live life, this is my right and wrong and it's the only one" - long nights and longer days, passion in fingertips that flare -

the freedom that comes with inexperience, I suppose. Of being new to the world and seeing something for the first time, without expectation of enjoyment.

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The Illuminatus! Trilogy (There really isn't any way to sum up this series, except for its own meta-review, copied below:

"It's a dreadfully long monster of a book, and I certainly won't have time to read it, but I'm giving it a thorough skimming. The authors are utterly incompetent - no sense of style or structure at all. It starts out as a detective story, switches to science-fiction, then goes off into the supernatural, and is full of the most detailed information of dozens of ghastly boring subjects. And the time sequence is all out of order in a very pretentious imitation of Faulkner and Joyce. Worst yet, it has the most raunchy sex scenes, thrown in just to make it sell, I'm sure, and the authors - whom I've never heard of - have the supreme bad taste to introduce real political figures into this mishmash and pretend to be exposing a real conspiracy. You can be sure I won't waste time reading such rubbish."

it's glorious.)

Blood Meridian (like with all of McCarthy's works, the punctuation either does it or doesn't)

House of Leaves

Katyně (availability in English is...low, unfortunately)

120 Days of Sodom (As mildly infamous as this work may be, it's still one of the funniest books I've read. However, proceed with caution - it is absolutely not for everyone, and there are a good number of people out there who would not enjoy this work at all.

but the author is such an utter troll, and reading it such an utter experience, regardless of whether one likes the book or not, that yes, I am recommending it.)

The Waste Land (Although yes, this work is famous enough in it's own right, what I'm recommending isn't reading it like in the past as assigned work - but to read it on its own as a work and experience.)

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At this point, it's far down enough that most people won't see this, but there are several reasons for having such a long profile. 1) I really, really, want to reach the full 65k-ish maximum length. 2) I want to have the longest profile for the shits and giggles. 3) When people click on my name to see my games they'll scroll down and get distracted by this, and not actually see all my failures of games.

So mainly 3 lol

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My favourite synonym:

"Forgive me Father, for I have sinned"

"Sorry Daddy, I've been naughty"

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Oh hey look, it's a Chaqa.

"What the heck is your webdip profile emc" - my Coalition game buddy

hi Chaqa, the profile is you now too

hi Ike, you've been inserted as well:

"You owe me more than a tiny drop :razz:. Kidding of course. Also, what's Up with your profile page? :lol:" - Ike

I'd like to know what's up as well.

hi Aurelin, if anyone mentions my profile at all they're coming here.

"I'm reading through emc's profile and god you're such a nerd" - said mod above

"Emc, I just looked at your profile
That is a fucking trip" - NEFS

"Its a weird mix of amusing and disturbing for sure" - Squigs

<3 backatcha, you two

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Have reached a bit of a difficult point: what else to put here that isn't too long, or too personal? or too famous lol

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We're all large donuts here. Dooonutttss. Donut-straws. Imagine having enough suction force to use someone as a straw - wouldn't it be fun? You could sit their ass in a chocolate fountain and suck from their mouth.

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"Food is the spice of life" - Gandhi

"You miss all the shots you don't take" - Lee Harvey Oswald

"One small step for man, one giant leap for mankind.

There's no elevator to success. You have to take the stairs" - Stephen Hawking

"Kinky is using a feather. Perverted is using the whole chicken" - Col. Harland Sanders

"These blast points....too accurate to have been the work of sand people" - George Bush

"Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has." - Osama Bin Laden

"Nailed it" - Jesus Christ

"You are what you eat" - Jeffrey Dahmer

"We must build a wall." - Nikita Khrushchev

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My general attitude about draws:

"There's nothing more beautiful than a draw,
for the medley of colours invokes much awe:
That alliances could last,
And nations could fast,
From cannibalising each other all."

that famous The Czech quote on drawing applies an unfortunate amount.

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Only 22.3k at this point, there's so much more to go.

Maybe I should turn this into a daily blog type of thing to grow?

meh, too lazy

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General reasoning behind moves like repeated intentional NMRs in a game:

"One must take the small sadistic pleasures in life where they can

The large ones are often messy to clean up."

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"Congratulations! Remember that small infants require lots of care, and that they are not edible until after 3 days to a week"

"They are edible after the waiting period is over, ofc"


"I think they still require lots of care after that"


"Well, additional care is if you like your meat in larger serving sizes."

"Baby heads are perfect for making non-vegetarian stuffed peppers.
From serving size to ease to meat quality, it works"

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Speaking of human flesh, it's caloric value is actually quite low compared to that of other animals - eating it is pretty inefficient. If averaged, the entire human is approximately ~1300 calories per kilogram - compare this to, say, beef with ~2480 calories per kilogram.

This tends towards the reasoning that human meat should only be a delicacy, and not a main course.

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Glorious organisms all people should know about:

Leucochloridium Paradoxum - zombie parasite snails, who enter through eyes and wear snail corpses and puppet them in order to be eaten. The images are actually quite pretty.

Argonaut Octopuses - detachable explodo dicks, 'nuff said
....Let me repeat that again, just in case it didn't sink in

detachable explodo dicks.


Cymothoa Exigua - crustacean that eats a fish's tongue, then replaces said tongue by attaching to the inside of the mouth.

Polydnaviruses - all natural GMO in the wild, in infecting wasps, really interesting reproduction.

Turritopsis Dohrnii - immortal jellyfish. Who wouldn't like it?

Ophiocordyceps Unilateralis - a fungi that mind controls ants, which is directed to a suitable habitat, and then killed as said fungi sprouts from its head. If there ever is brought into existence a human effective version, it was not me.

Ampulex Compressa - A type of wasp that, in order to reproduce, will drug a much larger cockroach into a stupor state, chew off half of it's antennas, then leash it like a pet and guide it to a burrow, where the wasp then lays eggs between its legs. The cockroach is then sealed up within the burrow, and will slowly sit there as the larva hatch and eat it alive over the course of a week, after which the larvae will become pupae and eventually emerge as adult wasps from the empty corpse.

Midichloria Mitochondrii - It's named after Star Wars and lives inside the mitochondria of ticks. So mainly the first part.

Rubberneckia - Technically unnamed, this lil' fella can rotate its head in 360 degrees clockwise....then another 360 degrees....and another....unlimited rotary motion, actually. Its head rotates constantly, completely around once every two seconds. The reason that it's capable of such unlimited spinning is due to that fact that part of the cell membrane is fluid, not solid.

Strepsiptera - More interesting parasites with vicious, vicious reproduction methods. The females are essentially like grubs, neotenic and parasitic. They infect a host body, and then release pheromones. The male, with an adult lifespan of 5 hours, flies around and follows said pheromones, mates by stabbing a hole through the host into the female's abdomen, and dies. The offspring then consume the female, and then the host.

Acanthaspis Petax - Assassin bug, who wears the corpses of it's food victims to deter predation from larger spiders. It can wear up to around 20 at a time. Fun times.

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"The European Union commissioners have announced that agreement has been reached to adopt English as the preferred language for European communications, rather than German, which was the other possibility. As part of the negotiations, Her Majesty's Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a five-year phased plan for what will be known as EuroEnglish (Euro for short).

In the first year, "s" will be used instead of the soft "c." Sertainly, sivil servants will resieve this news with joy. Also, the hard "c" will be replased with "k". Not only will this klear up konfusion, but typewriters kan have one less letter.

There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year, when the troublesome "ph" will be replased by "f". This will make words like “fotograf" 20 persent shorter.

In the third year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible. Governments will enkorage the removal of double letters, which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horible mes of silent "e"s in the languag is disgrasful, and they would go.

By the fourth year, peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" by "z" and "w" by "v".

During ze fifz year, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou", and similar changes vud of kors be aplid to ozer kombinations of leters.

After zis fifz yer, ve vil hav a reli sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be no mor trubls or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech ozer.

Ze drem vil finali kum tru."

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The proper way to spell "fish" is "ghoti". The gh as in enough, the o as in women, and the ti as in station.

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"A snake walks into a bar. The bartender says 'How did you do that?'"

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General Diplomacy Abilities; Rated [1/5] stars
★☆☆☆☆

"I do not recommend this product at all, as it appears to be highly defective - there's a strange tendency towards self destruction. Highly useless at accomplishing soloing goals, 1 star for the singular amusing characteristic of occasionally sprouting shitty limericks.

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#yanggang #yang2024

Let's gooo

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Some exchanges;

“give me two names from webdip and an object” - me

“jmo, Claesar, and a Chinese finger trap” - Chaqa

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Will I regret this? Never.

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It was WDC (in America!! and close enough to go to!!) and…..

Stay tuned, y’all. I’ll write it eventually.

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"Prompt me with two names and a noun" - e.m.c

"Jamie
Bunny

Sled" - Chaqa

"and a verb"

"peeling" - Vecna <3

To Bungo, for a gloriously doubled-down scum performance, your eulogy: an incredibly invasive and drastically melodramatic slash fic.

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​ EDEN; This Loyalty of Ours

A Terribly Touching Erotic Tale With Fade-out Sex Scenes Because EMC Can’t Afford Getting Banned

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The sky darkens quietly, dusk nearing as the dilapidated street lights flicker on in murmurs and sparks. There aren’t many left that still work, the country and streets being what they are in the aftermath of the Glorious Revolution. Alongside the streets, many former stores — no, Systemic Edenist Enemy Structures — emptily lurk about, boarded up for rehabilitation into peaceful distribution centres for the people. In some street corners, the shadows of passing people knock light back and forth onto glass shards that still glisten about like ice.

Still, in these conditions, spirits are high. It’s the new world order, after all. The PDRRM is installed! Order is restored! There’s a heightened thrum to the crowd milling around, an uplift in every step. The younger citizens straggle under the warm circles of lights where they shine, giggling and chatting, dedicated revolutionaries no more. Free of the war, they seemingly age a decade younger, voices rising with casual irrelevancies.

Oh, certainly, everyone knows that there are still a few Edenists hiding about, but the chances of them managing to sabotage this life and reinstall the EDEN mainframe are low. The fight is well and truly over.

At least, that is what the public thinks.

Under one darkening awning, a slightly gruff man in a khaki peacoat observes the crowd. His eyes, although bespectacled, are still sharp and scanning. The coat is rather worn, but it’s one of the few luxuries he has from pre-Revolution life and nostalgia holds strong despite it all. That, of course, and its warming quality. A sudden gust of wind scatters light debris and the thinly dressed into clumps, and he smiles; perhaps it will snow later this week. Turning around, he heads down an alleyway and wanders away from the main street with its celebrants and illumination. As soon as he passes the corner, though, he starts dashing down the alley in a tan blur.

Unseen, he slips into a building and sweeps with a small device, scanning the walls. Clear. Once satisfied, he pulls out a small, handheld radio and fiddles a bit with the dials.

“I got him,” he reports. “Saw him tussling with one of the student revolutionaries, down past the common dump site.”

“Good.” The answer crackles back in a slightly British accent. “We’ll go over it tonight.”

“Should I bring the drinks?”

Amused. “You have horrible taste, with that atrocious EDEN-American swill.”

“Yeah, well, when in Rome. Bunny out.”

He turns the radio off with a click. Another sweep, empty area, and he vanishes into the night.

__________________________________

​At half past nine, the EDEN loyalist — better known within the enclave by the codename “Bunny” — saunters up to a pastel coloured house far out in the long-abandoned sprawl of suburbia. He navigates well enough with the moonlight, and checks his bag of cheap alcohol before going round to the back of the house. He raises his arm to open the door, bottles slightly clinking when a dark-haired man opens it. He proceeds to frown at Bunny over a well-coiffed mustache.

“Did you really bring that over and except me to drink it?” Reasonably grumpy; the war naturally cut off almost all non-essential imports, and being stuck in this apocalyptic wasteland for almost the entire war did no favours for his already dour British mood.

“Jamie, hey. Of course not, it’s for the target. I didn’t want to waste time tomorrow detouring to pick this up.”

Jamie grunts mild assent. Shifting slightly to the left, he pulls Bunny in and re-latches the door.

“You are certain it was Worcej?”

“I am. He’s certainly the jailer, as there’s no other reason he’d be hanging around in front of the old server building. It looks like obvious false bait, which is why it’s the real location. The Separatists must not know how to destroy it, so they’re hiding it in the least likely place we’d look. Its original place.”

Bunny’s eyes are bright as he lays out the conspiracy, hands gesturing at emphatic points, but Jamie continues to look unimpressed by the logic.

“But you see, the clear rationale behind it is due to....” Bunny likewise continues undeterred. Sighing, Jamie slowly shepherds the other man onto the paisley sofa, who sits down without a hitch in his monologuing.

Half listening, and already sure of the information on Worcej and the EDEN-remenants, he checks the time. With two hours til midnight, that leaves them with a satisfactory nine hours until they have to leave.

He grabs one of the gesturing arms, fingers wrapping at the wrist and squeezes gently. “Bunny.”

“—with the development of Officer Nephthys—yes Jamie, what—turning up dead, one can easily conclude—”

“Shut up.”

Jamie leans over and pins Bunny’s other arm to the sofa, then lowers his head.

__________________________________

“Jamie​.”

No response. Bunny gazes up impassively at the ceiling, where the wallpaper was peeling off in strips and shreds. Looking left, it was snowing outside the window. He mobilises, shakes off the stray thoughts and goes on.

“I’m not...you know.” He cuts off, and starts again. “I’m not gay.”

Silence. He purses his lips and rubs at his nose, slightly chaffed from rubbing against Jamie. Said man flops an arm over and continues to snore. “Ja—”

“Go to sleep. I know. You had your wife and kids.”

“God, I fucking miss them so much, why.” His voice catches. “Why did…” Jamie says nothing in response, but grips his shoulder in understanding.

Then; “Thank you.” Company was nice but human contact was necessary. Desperate loneliness in solitude was unbearable. The loss will always be so, but like this it became a finger-breadth lighter, and it made all the difference.

“Sleep. We’re baiting Worcej and making an opening for EDEN tomorrow. You’ll need to be at your best.”

__________________________________


​The mission starts out almost perfectly, and then goes terribly, terribly wrong. Worcej is easily distracted with Jamie’s offer of a drink, and Bunny’s entrance into the compound couldn’t be smoother.

The trouble came in when a passerby asks Bunny where he was coming from. Naturally, he fibs a bit, as revealing his actual location would be a poor decision. Should someone go to check, he prefers for that location to be far from where Jamie is.

As it turns out, out of all days, there was actually someone manning the security cams for once, who tracked their movements. She immediately calls out for reinforcements, and they are absolutely, completely and utterly fucked. Jamie was caught earlier when he was confirming Officer Nephthys’ death, not as quiet or unobtrusive as he thought.

In the end, the decision is never a decision at all. Bunny knows there was only ever one path forwards, and breaths in. Restoration of EDEN comes first, and a little bit of death is no issue in face of this cause.

(He ignores the inklings of another reason.)

Bunny snaps out, quick and efficient. “Jamie, you have the information, go. There’s a motorcycle under the sled out by the brick building, it still has gas.”

Before the other man can protest, he shoves him into a closet and bursts into the crowd, jumping down from the balcony, with arms splashing up and barely missing stunned faces.

Loud, slightly dull, but incredibly attention grasping, he's got this.

“Hey! You guys, it was…”

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"