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*Raises hand to volunteer*
*Other current addicts clap*
*Stands at the podium fidgeting*

Hi... I'm Matticus.

*Audience replies 'Hi Matticus'"

I'm an addict. I like it. I love it. I want some more of it.

Can I get an amen?

*You reply?*

I'm not addicted. I can quit any time I want to. I often have.