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09 May 16 UTC	Spring, 1901: Vee vill crush jew. Wait. I think that's the wrong accent. Gimme a sec.
09 May 16 UTC	Spring, 1901: Turkish dog. It is my most devout wish that the German people find themselves in such desperate straits as to require the aid of infidels and barbarians such as your unwashed selves. Not even even decency to sign their own barely legible correspondence... Most onerously, Chancellor Wolfgang
09 May 16 UTC	Spring, 1901: Ahem... never find themselves in such desperate straits. In case that wasn't clear enough to infidels like yourselves. I don't know why I bother. I'm not even sure the Turks can read. Sincerely, Chancellor Wolfgang
09 May 16 UTC	Spring, 1901: Vee vill crush jew. Wait. I think that's the wrong accent. Gimme a sec.
09 May 16 UTC	Spring, 1901: Zat hewts.
09 May 16 UTC	Spring, 1901: Welcome my brothers and amicis. The Holy Roman Empire eagerly awaits the start of our journey. I expect you all are aware that while Catholics are a peaceful people, history shows we will not tolerate the rash invasions or... cultures... that threaten the preservation of our religion, rites and sacred traditions. I genuinely look forward to working with you and welcoming you to the Holy alliance to defend the free peoples of middle Europe. -Pope Leo XIII
10 May 16 UTC	Spring, 1901: Zat hewts.
10 May 16 UTC	Spring, 1901: The Queen is dead. Long live the King. Please send all condolences to Kensington Palace, London. The recently crowned Edward is already engaged in the affairs of state with the same honesty and vigor that marked the long reign of his mother.
10 May 16 UTC	Spring, 1901: Hi uncle! It's me, Wilhelm! Do you see me here? Hi!
11 May 16 UTC	Autumn, 1901: You can call me King Asil.
11 May 16 UTC	Autumn, 1901: You can call me King Asil.
17 May 16 UTC	Autumn, 1903: As commanded by the King of the United Kingdom and Emperor of India, King Edward VII of England, I am to read to your court the following edict signed into universal law in Kent, England on the 1st of this September, Year of Our Lord 1903: WHEREAS the English have for centuries held steadfastly to a dead faith, one manufactured by a murderer and debauch, and WHEREAS these difficult and trying times require the English to rely more on themselves and their creator, and WHEREAS the nations of Europe and their rulers are more worldly and jingoist than ever, LET IT BE RESOLVED THAT The King of all England, Edward VII, competent authority of the Church of England dissolves said Church of England and ascribes himself and his peoples to the true faith handed down across the ages. FURTHERMORE, this EDICT OF KENT pledges the full might of His Majesty's Navy to the defense of the Papal States and all holdings of the Vicar of Christ on earth. It is therefore immediately demanded that that all war-fighting elements of the Austro-Hungarian Empire be extirpated from the Italian peninsula, peacefully or not so. As an immediate requirement, King Edward VII requires the return of Venice to the Papal States. Failure to abide this EDICT OF KENT will be interpreted by the Crown as a formal act of war against our nation and empire. Signed, Robert Gascoyne-Cecil, 3rd Marquess of Salisbury
20 May 16 UTC	Autumn, 1904: I will have you all know that Germany is very good at building trenches. Very very good. The best. We have the best people building trenches for us. And we're getting Austria to pay for them! Sincerely, Chancellor Drumpf of Germany
20 May 16 UTC	Autumn, 1904: Dear Mr. Drumpf, There's no doubt the world is somewhat upside-down when the two of us are officially corresponding. We always knew this backward European Union would never hold. It was a lie concocted by a bunch of Belgian technocrats interested in only one thing: a universal world order. Well the British people aren't buying. Not to mention the Belgian Technocrats are all under house-arrest. Truly Yours, Nigel Farage