Finished: 04 PM Thu 11 Sep 14 UTC
Private EVERYBODY SHOUT
2 days /phase
Pot: 140 D - Spring, 1904, Finished
Classic, Public messaging only, Anonymous players, Survivors-Win Scoring
1 excused missed turn
Game drawn
07 Sep 14 UTC Autumn, 1903: It appears that the Germans, as they are wont to do, are insistent upon taking more than their share. They are, however, correct in that Austria cannot stand against aggression from all sides, so...

Turkey: I will support your entry into Moscow with my troops in Ukraine. I will also turn the rest of Austria's materiel to your purposes. You may take control of Serbia and Rumania, and I will instruct the rest of my men to hold our other borders against our common enemies until they can fight no more. Good luck!
07 Sep 14 UTC Autumn, 1903: (thank you ..my apologies for the stutter when my PC refreshes)
07 Sep 14 UTC Autumn, 1903: Lol, you've got to close out of the browser after posting, to stop stuttering.
08 Sep 14 UTC Autumn, 1903: (thank you ..my apologies for the stutter when my PC refreshes)
08 Sep 14 UTC Autumn, 1903: (thats the problem..when I open the browser again and bring the tab up it asks to refresh and boom.. stutter)
08 Sep 14 UTC Autumn, 1903: (thats the problem..when I open the browser again and bring the tab up it asks to refresh and boom.. stutter)
08 Sep 14 UTC Autumn, 1903: (I use the Global tab itself to refresh after I post, in order that the last thing I did on the page wasn't hitting Send.)
08 Sep 14 UTC Autumn, 1903: My dearest Franz, thank you for your support and for your generous offer of territory. I have no desire to defang you in the face of Italy's onslaught, however.

Wilhelm, I urge you to reconsider your position with regards to Warsaw. Your Austrian brother is embroiled in a fight for his very survival, surely there is some memory of the bonds of kinship your people share, that stirs in your soul as you consider condemning him to the ashpile of history. There is much territory available to you -- no one has contested your right to St. Petersburg, and Italy has shown little regard for your comfort as he barrels into Tyrolia in pursuit of Austria. And of course I don't doubt your beloved uncle will be amenable to letting you march German troops into Paris and Marseilles. What good does it do to bicker about Warsaw?
08 Sep 14 UTC Autumn, 1903: Oh, Franz, incidentally, I will be moving my Eastern Mediterranean fleet into the Ionian, if you could provide some support.
08 Sep 14 UTC Autumn, 1903: Abdul The Damned speaks smoothly but without regard for observable facts. My cousin Austria is in a minro scrap with Italy for which his forces would be entirely sufficient were they not pressing claims elsewhere. He speaks as if making a 'gift' of St Petersburg...which is not his to give and asserts a preeminent claim to Moscow as he encourages our Cousin Austria to make a demand on Warsaw.. I do not see reason here.. I see subtlety and the smooth words of a man who hopes to see your back turned when his knife comes out. What he knows full well is that the only loser of a war between the forces of Austria and Germany will be Austria and that one of the winners will certainly be.. himself. I do not know but what sorcery Ahmed Bey has bent our cousins reason to ends that can advance ONLY the Turks fortunes and no one elses... but we stand firm in our resolve to establish a defensible frontier along the Munich/Silisia/Warsaw/Moscow line and add only one .. very important Caveat..should Our Cousin Austria escape his ensorcelment and find himself embroiled with his ancient enemy the Turk he will not do so without the full assistance of our forces. Austria our ancient friendship , our long un garrisoned and unsullied borders our clear mutual interest can hopefully outweight the smooth words and slippery promises of (as his own people call him) Ahmed the Damned. What say you?
08 Sep 14 UTC Autumn, 1903: I see that our German friend's longtime pretense to the title of Caesar has gone to his head. Or perhaps it is merely the schnapps which leads him to slander our person in blatant contradiction of the evidence before him. We now see that his intention was never an equitable solution to the Russia question, but the establishment of a Germanic -- sorry, I mean to say German, as he clearly intends to exclude Austria -- hegemony throughout Eastern Europe.
08 Sep 14 UTC Autumn, 1903: But, so as not to offend our Swiss hosts, I shall address Wilhelm's points as though they were legitimate diplomatic concerns rather than the rantings of a bloviating madman. You obviously do not wish to see a Turkish Moscow, and wish to have a defensible line to protect, you say, both yourself and Austria from whatever bogeyman you imagine sits the Ottoman throne, so I ask this: Would you, then, consent to an *Austrian* Moscow? You do not want war with Austria, you say, and you clearly will not budge on the subject of Warsaw, so why not allow Franz to retain some semblance of continuity in his territory, while you preserve your own. I'm sure that would go a long way in rebuilding the trust he used to have for you and ease some tensions along what I must say is the most heavily-garrisoned ungarrisoned border I have ever seen. What say you?
08 Sep 14 UTC Autumn, 1903: A last chance for averting war then.. if ,as you seem to smoothly state you have our brother Austrias interests at heart and are grieved to see him bereft of opportunities .. please feel free to aid him taking Moscow by supporting *his* attack from Ukraine... or I will be happy to do so next turn. The smooth diplomacy of the turk is award things he has no power over as if they are gifts and to promote a view of rights that divides natural friends. As his tender friendship with our cousin Austria is more likely to see a peaceful border than if Germany and Turkey were to share such a long frontier.. I gift Moscow to Austria.. a gift that is in my grasp to give and to support and one which will keep peace rather than foment friends to war. What say you Turkey? support an attack by Ukraine into Moscow and peace is once again restored! What say you Cousin Austria? Avert the horrors of war by taking Moscow instead of Warsaw? Peace between our own houses thus restored and between ourselves and the Turk by the profitable interposition of your troops. credit and honor and the title of peacemaker all to rest as laurels on your brow.. A simple acceptance and general war is averted and all the bells may ring with cheer.. And if the turk is not inclined to assist you this turn I will swear to do so in the next.
08 Sep 14 UTC Autumn, 1903: We would not have suggested it if we were not prepared to support it. The order is already given.
08 Sep 14 UTC Autumn, 1903: (below stairs) Good thing, too. I'd hate to see the schnapps stop flowing. Waiter! Where you going with that bottle?
08 Sep 14 UTC Autumn, 1903: These lengthy turns are making many dry mouths, I think I shall partake of some schnapps as well if you don't mind so terribly.
08 Sep 14 UTC Autumn, 1903: A last chance for averting war then.. if ,as you seem to smoothly state you have our brother Austrias interests at heart and are grieved to see him bereft of opportunities .. please feel free to aid him taking Moscow by supporting *his* attack from Ukraine... or I will be happy to do so next turn. The smooth diplomacy of the turk is award things he has no power over as if they are gifts and to promote a view of rights that divides natural friends. As his tender friendship with our cousin Austria is more likely to see a peaceful border than if Germany and Turkey were to share such a long frontier.. I gift Moscow to Austria.. a gift that is in my grasp to give and to support and one which will keep peace rather than foment friends to war. What say you Turkey? support an attack by Ukraine into Moscow and peace is once again restored! What say you Cousin Austria? Avert the horrors of war by taking Moscow instead of Warsaw? Peace between our own houses thus restored and between ourselves and the Turk by the profitable interposition of your troops. credit and honor and the title of peacemaker all to rest as laurels on your brow.. A simple acceptance and general war is averted and all the bells may ring with cheer.. And if the turk is not inclined to assist you this turn I will swear to do so in the next.
08 Sep 14 UTC Autumn, 1903: and there goes my stutter again..but looking at the time stamps we seem to have arrived at the same compromise at about the same time. and now there shall be peace..and the bells shall ring in great gladness (and spare agricultural production can be diverted back to making more Schnapps for all)
08 Sep 14 UTC Autumn, 1903: At which point might I suggest this conference adjorn?
08 Sep 14 UTC Autumn, 1903: For a while I have been silent, but I have not been inactive. I have been researching the deaths of my two allies, the Czar of Russia and the President of France. It seemed odd that both would perish at this dinner table, leaving their nations in disarray. So I began some research, and I have tracked it down to a dastardly act: Poisoning!

But who could poison only those two? And how did I not fall victim to the same assassin?

Could it have been the Austrian? No. He is too busy spinning fever dreams of forces that aren't attacking him, and ineptly leading his forces. His performance is so bad that when his invading army was expelled from Venice, he chose to disband it and form a new one, lest anyone remember the shame of the old one.

Could it have been the German? No. I partook of every Schnitzel, Schnapps, Spatzel, and Sauerfleish offered, including the new currywurst snack. Interesting stuff, but I am not sure there is a future in it.

Could it have been the Englander? Clearly not. He would know in advance that no one would eat the dishes he offered, save perhaps the chips, but iocane powder is known to lose potency when fried in fat, so clearly it could not have been him.

That leaves the Turk, and his generous offerings of dolmathes. I scoffed at these, after all, grapes are wine, and grape leaves are a poor container of food, but the Czar was even more of a glutton than myself, and far less choosy in his dining. I think the French president ate them only to humiliate the English King's offerings. My fallen friend did have the sin of vanity.

A similar poisoning fate may have befallen our German friend had he not been so busily drinking downstairs.

And so I have fended off the Austro-Turkish alliance single handedly, and to date I have done quite well. For all of their scheming, they have only managed to accrue one territory from Russia, while England is poised to take all of France and Germany take half of Russia.

One could say that with enemies like that, I hardly need allies, but alas the sheer number of cannon fodder marching against me will be insurmountable, so if this war is to continue I must appeal to Germany and England for help.

If there is to be war, I beseech Germany to turn south immediately and you can take most of Austria's home
territories while his troops are still mired along the front with me.

If there is to be war, I ask England to send a fleet to the Western Mediterranean to prevent the Turk from
Taking Tunis, then you can send your mightly fleets to route the Turk with my assistance.

If there is to be war, I will help England and Germany to win, I ask only to be allowed to survive
so that I can carry on the memory of my fallen friends.

However, if the Austrian and Turk are amenable, either from guilt or a the sheer size of the English and German forces soon to be arrayed against them, then we can have peace once again.
08 Sep 14 UTC Autumn, 1903: Worry not, my Italian friend the Emperor King will be on his way in the spring to throw aid in your direction. In the mean time I invite you to join the kings table for some fine English cooking, perhaps some fish and chips would be agreeable for the long naval voyages ahead!
08 Sep 14 UTC Autumn, 1903: I will gladly dine on those fish and chips. I would ask that you move the fleet in the Mid Atlantic to the Western Med now, as I may need its help in covering Tunis in the Spring. Yes, you might not get all three French supply centers this turn, but no one else can challenge them, so what's 2 out of 3?
08 Sep 14 UTC Autumn, 1903: I fear our dear Franz Josef was not roused from his suite in time to hear the latest development in our deliberations. If only he were not such a slugabed, he would have found a shiny new Moscow awaiting him beneath his Christmas bush.
08 Sep 14 UTC Autumn, 1903: I don't really see how they would get it with only one fleet to attack it. However if they take it you would easily be able to get it the very next turn with my support.next
08 Sep 14 UTC Autumn, 1903: Perhaps it is an error in translation, but does the Italian truly ask Germany to turn on Austria so soon after peace was achieved?

And this nonsense about poisoned dolmathes? I believe our Italian friend is trying to usurp from Germany the title of Land of Fairy Tales. Perhaps, my dear Kaiser, you should remind him of how most of those stories from your Black Forest end?
08 Sep 14 UTC Autumn, 1903: I was only pointing out that if there was to be war, what would be waiting for those wanting war.

I want peace. I also want some of the baklava dessert you brought, but I am hesitant to try it. Anyone want to go first?
08 Sep 14 UTC Autumn, 1903: (below stairs) Will ya look at that. The English have become the dominant power in the world without ever getting in a fight. All that squabbling over who gets what in the East and old Eddie just sails in as pretty as you please. Who would've thought?
08 Sep 14 UTC Autumn, 1903: My dear Vittorio, here, you may eat off my plate. I shall take one first; you may choose which.
08 Sep 14 UTC Autumn, 1903: Edward might not be so powerful if I had been able to sail West. Instead, I had to defend against the Austrian. But if things were different, they wouldn't be the same. So, I welcome peace, or a tide of Union Jacks.
08 Sep 14 UTC Autumn, 1903: Caution, I believe I've seen this trick before!
08 Sep 14 UTC Autumn, 1903: Indeed. I guess I will dine on this "spotted dick" creation you brought....Say, it's not bad. Perhaps some of the aversion to English food is in the naming perhaps?
08 Sep 14 UTC Autumn, 1903: That's my theory. I have not been able to bring myself to try the "bubble and squeak"...
08 Sep 14 UTC It appears that the conversation has exceeded the capacity for memory. Allow me to recap my current intention:

The empire of Austria is poised to fall, and in doing so will cede power to its only true ally, the Turk. I will support an entry into Moscow from Sevastopol, as futile as it may be with the garrulous Hun swooping across the steppes. I will leave Rumania and Serbia open for Turkey to enter and claim at will, and attempt to keep my own borders as well as I can while he sets up camp.
08 Sep 14 UTC England, we all agree that your food is pretty good if unfortunately named. We also agree that you've made the best use of the chaos from the two assassinations, gaining the largest share of the board while earning yourself no enemies. The peace of the land, and the adjournment of this meeting, rest with you.
08 Sep 14 UTC Oh my. Franz is right; the record of our conversation appears to be lost to the ages. The upshot was that Wilhelm graciously agreed to allow YOU, rather than I, to control Moscow. It was really, a great day for peace.
09 Sep 14 UTC My position stands. Take advantage of my offer or not, as you wish.
09 Sep 14 UTC In light of Austrias repeated pleas to abdicate,in the event this conference does not adjourn to the glorous and improbable peace that has broken out at the very last minute... I will state that I will stand with the will of my brother England. I do state however a strong preference to maintain this miraculous peace... which gives Us pause to wonder at some our preconceived notions about the behavior or nations and reports of our ...courtiers ..with regard to The Sublime Porte..
09 Sep 14 UTC We, ourselves, have been shown this day that many of our own ancient prejudices may have been hastily drawn with regard to the notorious Teutonic thirst for blood. These proceedings have seen wonders unfold. I stand with Germany in wishing for an amicable accord and I hope that the English desire for expansion will yield to the dream of everlasting peace.
09 Sep 14 UTC If England truly desires peace, let him show it. Everyone else has, and yet he moves on.
09 Sep 14 UTC In light of Austrias repeated pleas to abdicate,in the event this conference does not adjourn to the glorous and improbable peace that has broken out at the very last minute... I will state that I will stand with the will of my brother England. I do state however a strong preference to maintain this miraculous peace... which gives Us pause to wonder at some our preconceived notions about the behavior or nations and reports of our ...courtiers ..with regard to The Sublime Porte..
09 Sep 14 UTC His Imperial Majesty, the Emperor King, laughs at Austria's insinuations in light of the fact that England is the only country here who has not warred with any rival nations in this forum. In fact, at this moment England is on its way to come to the assistance of our war torn friend, Italy, from the transgressions you and your imperial friend continue to perpetrate against him should you decide to continue.
09 Sep 14 UTC This spring shall see no Turkish forces attempt to set foot on Italian or Italian-held soil. It was, to be fair, Austria who initiated the unpleasantness that now embroils southern Europe, and I am sure that if Italy, her territory whole, is willing to forgive if not forget, that Franz will also break off hostilities. Franz, what say you?
09 Sep 14 UTC That would be agreeable, yes.
09 Sep 14 UTC I believe the Imperial Majesty is seeking an act of contrition from Franz.
09 Sep 14 UTC There will be no more aggression. Only naps.
09 Sep 14 UTC In light of Austrias repeated pleas to abdicate,in the event this conference does not adjourn to the glorous and improbable peace that has broken out at the very last minute... I will state that I will stand with the will of my brother England. I do state however a strong preference to maintain this miraculous peace... which gives Us pause to wonder at some our preconceived notions about the behavior or nations and reports of our ...courtiers ..with regard to The Sublime Porte..
09 Sep 14 UTC (sorry for the stutter again).. we are grieved to hear The Hapburg is feeling unwell and share great gladness for the restful peace we anticipate for the very near future (in fact, as soon as England chooses to hit the 'draw' button...)
10 Sep 14 UTC Oh, I didn't even see the voting. Wow, it's hard to believe people are so willing to call it quits.
10 Sep 14 UTC The drop outs made this more of an exercise in Improv than Diplomacy. I implore you to call a draw.
10 Sep 14 UTC improv aside.. if you me and italy stick together its not a war its an extended mop up operation in which there is neither challenge nor fun nor honor. If I swung with the turks and Austria didnt just roll over it would be more of fight ... but still more of a pure wargame than Diplomacy and I am utterly uninclined to switch.. the only way this game stays interesting for the rest of you is for me to be boring and do what I said I would.. sit here and let you all duke it out but thats also pretty darn tedious what with england having to squeeze everything through West Med to weigh in.. Time to leave this game and start a new one

Start Backward Open large map Forward End

England
donkey.kong (100 D)
Drawn. Bet: 20 D, won: 28 D
10 supply-centers, 10 units
Germany
Gallieni (118 D)
Drawn. Bet: 20 D, won: 28 D
8 supply-centers, 8 units
Turkey
monkeyangst (142 D)
Drawn. Bet: 20 D, won: 28 D
6 supply-centers, 6 units
Austria
majcher (128 D)
Drawn. Bet: 20 D, won: 28 D
5 supply-centers, 5 units
Italy
missingumlaut (294 D)
Drawn. Bet: 20 D, won: 28 D
4 supply-centers, 4 units
Russia
DimiK (100 D)
Resigned. Bet: 20 D
1 supply-centers, 1 units
France
RyanH42 (100 D)
Defeated. Bet: 20 D
Civil Disorders
RyanH42 (100 D)France (Spring, 1902) with 3 centres.
DimiK (100 D)Russia (Autumn, 1901) with 4 centres.
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